When "No" Feels Like a Wall: Transforming Rejection in Mediumship
- Philip Dykes
- Apr 20
- 3 min read
Few words have the power to shake a medium quite like the word "no." It’s tiny. It’s quick. Yet it echoes with intensity, piercing through confidence and unsettling even the most seasoned communicator. But why does this one word, spoken so simply, cause such a dramatic reaction?
The Early Programming of the dreaded ‘No’
Our relationship with the word "no" doesn't begin in the classroom or on the platform—it starts much earlier. As children, we’re conditioned to respond to correction. We’re told “no, don’t do that,” “no, that’s wrong,” “no, that’s not how it’s done.” This well-meaning instruction—whether from parents, teachers, or later, employers and peers—slowly begins to shape our internal landscape.
By adulthood, many of us have developed a finely tuned fear of being wrong. We equate “no” with failure. With not being good enough. With looking foolish. So when we step into the vulnerable space of mediumship, already wide open and exposed, and hear the dreaded “no” from a recipient, it doesn’t just challenge the evidence—it challenges the self.
A Nervous System on Edge
The body responds as quickly as the mind. When a sitter says "no," it often triggers a subconscious reaction in the nervous system. The breath shortens, the heart rate quickens, and the blend with the spirit world begins to loosen. The creative force—the intuitive flow we rely on—slips from our grasp as anxiety takes hold. We begin second-guessing, withdrawing, and often apologising—not just for the mistake, but for ourselves.
Confidence dips. Trust fades. The once-strong connection dulls like a mirror fogged with doubt.
And yet... we must remember, mediumship is not an exact science. We are not machines reciting facts; we are human beings interpreting a subtle, sacred language between worlds. We are allowed to make mistakes. More importantly, we must give ourselves permission to do so.
The Real Meaning Behind the ‘No’
Instead of seeing "no" as failure, what if we saw it as feedback? As redirection? As an opportunity to pause, reconsider, and go deeper?
A "no" might simply mean the recipient doesn’t understand the reference yet. Or it may be inviting us to look from a different angle, to reframe the evidence, or to become even clearer in how we’re expressing the message. A "no" might even be there to help us grow—to stretch our capacity to trust, listen, and adapt.
It’s not always about being right. It’s about being real.
Our Relationship with the Word ‘No’
Each medium has a personal response to rejection. Some may recoil from embarrassment, others from ego, others still from the haunting feeling of looking “stupid.” These reactions are human—but when left unexamined, they can build a prison of self-doubt, holding us back from our true potential.
This is why we must address why the "no" affects us so deeply. Because until we look at the root of our response, we will always flinch, always pull back when we most need to step forward.
And stepping forward is where the growth lies.
Transforming Your Development Through the No
If you’ve found yourself recoiling when faced with a no, know that you’re not alone—and it doesn't have to stay that way. You can change your relationship with that word. You can train your mind to stay open, your emotions to remain calm, and your spirit to keep listening. When you do, something wonderful happens: you stop fearing the no... and you start learning from it.
That moment of redirection becomes an ally.That silence becomes a space of clarity.That pause becomes the place you pivot into deeper connection.
And the best part? It gives you depth. It teaches you how to tell the story of life—not just through accurate facts, but through meaningful, heartfelt connection.
Your Invitation to Grow
Are you ready to face the “no” with strength, clarity, and a new understanding?
Join us for our dedicated session on this very subject The Dreaded NO in Mediumship where we explore what really happens when the "no" appears and how to turn it into a powerful ally for your development.
This class is designed to shift your mindset, unravel the emotional and energetic impact of rejection, and help you gain practical tools to strengthen your mediumship from the inside out.
Let the “no” no longer hold you back. Let it move you forward.
Understanding self is one of the most important aspects in mediumship and spiritual development, knowing our reactions and internal framework helps us stay connected to spirit, mastering our emotions allows us to dive deeper into the essence of the communicator, while allowing a spiritual experience to take place.
Anything that has a impact on our nervous system such as negative emotion, interferes with the connection to spirit.
Developing self, gaining insight and understanding of self limiting beliefs, allows us to break the chains of control that these aspects have upon us, allowing freedom to expand our minds and form better connections, making us better servants of spirit.